Narcissist discard and silent treatment

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No Contact vs. the narcissist’s silent treatment & ghosting: The differences

narcissist discard and silent treatment

If you've been subjected to multiple episodes of the silent treatment, your When the narcissist seemingly discards you, it's usually all smoke.

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I am often asked how somebody is able to distinguish between being subjected to a silent treatment or whether they have been discarded? There are clear similarities between the two and of course, they are both instances which are common in respect of the narcissistic dynamic between our kind and the intimate partner primary source. Silent treatments come essentially in two forms. The PST manifests as us standing and glaring at you but not saying anything, or walking away from you every time you come near us so we go to a different room or we just sit in a chair and watch television acting as if you are not there, even though we may speak to other people. Whilst the PST is unpleasant to the recipient, it is often used because it is a manifestation of cold fury. The PST is used by all three schools of narcissist, but is heavily used by the Mid-Rangers as part of their passive-aggressive repertoire. The advantage to us of the PST is that we can deploy it with very little effort thus conserving energy and also because you are either in the same room as us or nearby we gain significant Proximate Fuel from your upset, anger or irritation.

Narcissistic silent treatment is something that virtually every narcissist delivers skilfully. However, this cruel action — narcissistic silent treatment — is a lot more impactful than merely being brushed off by someone. I n my recent article regarding the passive-aggressive narcissist we looked into the ultimate weapon used — narcissistic silent treatment — yet in this article I want to go into this in more detail, to really help you understand this tactic that virtually every narcissist, at some stage, will use. The insane thing about it is, the narcissist may decide to grant no explanation whatsoever for days, weeks, months or even a lifetime. Truly, there are people who experience narcissistic silent treatment who never have any explanation or closure as to why. But, usually, this is a pattern and we discover once this happens, it will continue to happen again and again. And the sad thing is, so many people trapped in narcissistic relationships have tried to do everything they can to prevent the absolute horror of narcissistic silent treatment — being treated as if they no longer exist.

We need to be able to outsmart the narcissist in order to ever break out of this pattern that keeps us locked in invisible chains that weaken our ability to ever leave at all. When did things get so confusing, so backward? In the narcissistic abuse cycl e, there is a clear cycle of idealization, devaluation, discard and hoovering that describes what happens in our relationships with them. It can be difficult to understand why a narcissist repeatedly progresses through these four stages until we begin to examine the larger pattern of our interactions with them and what they are trying to accomplish. If there is a disproblem, because they cannot accept that what they do might be wrong, the problem must exist because of what the partner is doing. If they love how you treat them, they will idealize you.

Someone who will co-exist with you in the same house while literally ignoring you? What if that goes on for days? Ideally, this would be a two-word answer: no contact. And, in the case of a covert narcissist , you might often find yourself getting the old silent treatment — AKA the discard phase. The first thing you have to do is to educate yourself about the situation.

Silent Treatment or Discard?

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The Discard: What can you expect from a narcissist in the final stage of the entanglement

Narcissists and the silent treatment go together like…well, like maybe bees and honey or peas and carrots or better yet! Without fail, every dysfunctional story ever told — including my own — that describes a relationship involving a narcissistic partner includes numerous silent treatments. To find meaningful article topics for this blog, I always turn to Google analytics to provide me the search terms that visitors use to find my articles. In other words, I really try to write about topics related to narcissism that weigh the heaviest on the minds of readers. For example, when I pulled the search terms used to reach my site for the period of a few months, the following is just a very small portion of the list that came back to me from Google:. And this list goes on and on and on in various forms and questions and shows me, day in and day out, that narcissism is out there in epidemic proportions.

How to Shut Down the Narcissist During the Silent Treatment

When we get the silent treatment from the narcissist in our life , it feels utterly devastating. Even if we know, without a doubt, that the narcissist was in the wrong, we take on the responsibility for their going silent on us. Normal people may need some time alone to think and reset, but they will never, ever use the silent treatment as a form of punishment against you. Someone who cares about you will come back and want to have a two-way conversation about how to make things work between you. Someone who cares will not try to make you feel at fault because THEY cheated or lied. The last thing you want to do during the silent treatment is to reward the narcissist by engaging with them when they hoover.

This is what many long-suffering partners of narcissists have dealt with for years. Affairs, discard, silent treatment, return, false promises and.
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You stuck around, clinging to the memory of those days past. But the growing indifference of the person you not so long ago were one hundred per cent certain would be your future has eroded your confidence. Kind of sneakily. It feels nothing like your previous break-ups. Something is seriously odd here but you have no idea what that is.

Is the narcissist suggesting that you are narcissistic because of your decision to go No Contact? Are you in a dither wondering if perhaps there is something to this? This constant self-questioning is yet one more outcome of having suffered narcissistic abuse. You have very deliberately been programmed by the narcissist to doubt yourself at every turn. Going No Contact offers the narcissist a golden opportunity to exacerbate your fretting over this specific concern. Inevitably when you make the decision to go No Contact, the narcissist will launch a smear campaign.


1 thoughts on “Narcissist discard and silent treatment

  1. In my experience, they can almost be one in the same sometimes. Both are used to elicit the same response out of you. Both are a punishment.

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